Secrets of the Heart and Other Parts
by HelloBatman
Summary: Penelope has a secret and Derek thinks he knows what it is…maybe he does maybe he doesn't .  Way not beta read! I am human, I make mistakes
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Criminal Minds, and I'm in no way making any profit off of this story.

Summary: Penelope has a secret and Derek thinks he knows what it is…maybe he does maybe he doesn't .

Way not beta read! I am human, I make mistakes

Secrets of the Heart and Other Parts

Chapter Name: But He Did

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><p>Kevin Lynch<p>

Fucking Kevin Lynch

Fucking Kevin fucking Lynch

Sitting at his desk, the words circled in his mind over and over again. Derek Morgan knew what he wanted and that man…. no boy , freaken paper thin shell of an asshole, boy was in his way. And that was something Derek could not stand for.

Kevin Lynch

He didn't know how to treat a goddess like Penelope. He didn't know her at all, but Morgan did. Morgan knew how she would bit her lip just a little bit if she was upset. How she would close her eyes for a few seconds after looking at crime scene photos, so she could try to ease them from her memory . Or how after a hard case, she would go home and dance around in her Hello Kitty pjs just so that she could feel happy again.

Kevin Lynch didn't know Penelope Garcia secret. But Derek Morgan did.

After his baby girl had be shot, Morgan had taken to spending the night, every night with his goddess. The first eight nights, possibly the best eight nights of his life, Morgan slept in bed with her, holding her keeping her safe. The pain meds the doctors gave her made her a little loopy and in her loopy-ness she had told him that he chased the bad darkness away. That he was her knight of light.

So why the hell was she spending all her time the that ass clown Kevin Lynch?

Oh Morgan understood why Penelope wouldn't spend time with him. Because she was afraid of her feeling for him. _Of that I'm 100 percent sure of_ he thought grimly

He had felt bad for doing it, but how could he resist? There it was, just sitting there, calling to him. Read me, read me please read me. Over and over again. Her diary.

His baby girl had been asleep in her bed, alone, for hours now and something had kept Morgan awake. Some cold dreadful feeling that pulled at his chest, like his body knew that he should be in bed beside her. He couldn't shake it. That's when he saw it. Sticking out from under one of the many pillows of her bay window bench. He stared at it for what felt like hours but really was only a few minutes. It was bright purple with red flowers all over it and his palms itched. Badly. Getting up from the couch, he walked right to it and grab it. He held it, walked around her place with it, but didn't look inside. He growled to himself, _I need to_. Sitting down, he flipped through the pages once to fast to read. He took a deep breath and opened it right in the middle and started reading.

_**I just see him and I smile. Its like he is my light, my safe place. I know feeling like this is so very wrong but I cant help how my heart feels. I know that he would never feel this way about me, I'm not dumb. I have seen the girls that he was been with. They are not like me. They are super thin, super sexy and well super everything. And I'm well super nothing. I mean I like myself I like my body I do. I have come to terms that I am just always going to be a BIG girl. Oh well, who ever I end up with will have to like me how I am. And I do mean end up with. No one could make me one tenth of what he makes me feel. If he only knew. Hell if anyone knew the truth, that I, Penelope Garcia, dream of the same man every night and almost every minute of every day and I would do anything for him to be my first, they would be flooded. I would hug that moment to myself forever. But he is just my dream, my best friend, my knight of light. My Derek Morgan.**_

Slamming the book shut, Morgan's jaw drop. Penelope, his gorgeous, drop dead sexy Penelope, was a virgin. And she wanted him to be her first.

Then came Kevin Lynch. That geek would not be touching HIS baby girl, no fucking way. Morgan had made up his mind right then, sitting at his desk. He was going to let Kevin Lynch and the rest of the males of plant earth know that Penelope Garcia was his, his woman, his and his alone.

Now he just need to let her know that.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Criminal Minds, and I'm in no way making any profit off of this story.

Summary: Penelope has a secret and Derek thinks he knows what it is…maybe he does maybe he doesn't .

Way not beta read! I am human, I make mistakes

AN: If you liked Kevin Lynch, you are not going to like this story.

Secrets of the Heart and Other Parts

Chapter Name: Reaching for the Stars

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><p>He watched his tech goddess come through the bullpen, noting the depressed look on her face. Something was making his baby girl upset and that just would not do. Getting up from his desk, he followed her to her office, her own personal headquarters.<p>

"hey Baby Girl" Morgan called to her. She stopped just before she shut the door. Penelope turned and gave him the most fake smile he had ever scene. Something was very wrong.

"hello, my love. What can I do for you today?" Penelope asked.

"well you can start by telling what's wrong?" he asked stopping right in front of her, giving her no choice but to move farther in to her office. She walked over to her chair and sat down, and turning to her computers and start them up.

"what makes you think something is wrong"

"Silly girl, I know you better then anyone else. Something is wrong and you are trying to hide it."

"oh that's right, I forgot. I am best friends with Mr. top-FBI-investigator-I-know- everything guy" she laughed

"Garcia" his tone letting her know he was in no mood to play around. "something is wrong and you are going to tell me what it is." he waited for her to answer him, she just kept looking at her computer screens. "Penelope, baby, answer me please." he said kneeing down next to her, turning her chair so she would look at him.

Her face was red and there were hints of tears in her eyes, " Its Kevin"

"What did he do?" Morgan growled, already planning on how to kill the boy and what to do with the body parts.

"Nothing, he didn't do anything wrong, its just that…well he wants more then I am willing to give. And I tried explaining that to him and he didn't take it every well." she told Derek. Not very well at all, she thought, remembering the hurtful things Kevin had said to her.

_"Penelope I want you, I just don't understand why you don't want me"_

_"Kevin I like you a lot, but I'm just not ready to move on to that next step yet." she told him, hopping that he would just leave it at that._

_"It's him isn't it?"_

_"Him who" she asked, full well knowing who Kevin was talking about._

_"Please don't play dumb with me, Penelope . I know all about you and Derek Morgan."_

_"he is my best friend that's all"_

_"Pen, you are in love with him. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. And you are just fooling yourself. He will never see you that way. I mean have you scene the women that he has been with."_

_" What is that supposed to mean, Kevin! What's wrong with me?"_

_"Hon, you know I think you are pretty, but you are just reaching for the stars when you should be looking more in your level. Its time that you faced the truth. He doesn't see you that way and he never will. You are just a friend to him, sure you're his best friend but that's all. In fact I think he is using you, he knows that he can call you at any time of the day and you will be there waiting for him. That you will do anything he wants. I hate to be the one who tells you this but you are not even really his friend, you are his back up plan."_

Even now, those words brought tears to her eyes. But she knew in her heart that Kevin was just speaking in anger and out of pain. It wasn't Kevin 's fault that she didn't love him, that she didn't want to share her body with him. A hand on her shoulder brought her back out of her own mind.

"Baby?"

Penelope looked back to Morgan, and put a smile on her face. "I'm fine. But I don't think I will be seeing Kevin anymore"

"What happen, Sweet?"

Garcia turned back to her computers, her safe place. "He said that I was reaching for the stars, and now that I think about it maybe he is right. Maybe I have been reaching for something I can never have."

Morgan clenched his jaw together , and closed his eyes. _That fucker._ Kevin made this goddess doubt herself wroth. _Oh that little shit is going to pay. But first…_

"Penelope, stand and look at me." As she stood he cupped her cheeks in his hands and looking right into her beautiful eyes and said "you are the stars, its all of us who should be reaching for you. You are the light that all of us long to be around."

Tears in her eyes she said, "I thought that was your job."

Wrapping his arms around her, he kissed the top of her head, "Don't let that jerk make you feel like you should have what you want. Whatever it is, it will be yours." his heart pleaded with her to understand the meaning od his words. _Please, please understand._

"Thanks, Hot-stuff, you're right" she pulled back from him, "ok now its time for me to get back to work and that same going for you before Hotch or JJ comes looking for you." she said pushing him to the door.

"Are you going to be ok, Baby?" he wouldn't leave until he know she was doing to be aright.

"Yes I am fine now, thanks to you stud muffin, I think I know what I have to do now." she smiled with a new plan already forming.

"PG you are more then fine." he teased, liking even after four year that he could still make her blush, and walked out the door. Instead of heading for his desk, he went right for the elevator. Times time to have a nice little chat with one Kevin Lynch.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own Criminal Minds, and I'm in no way making any profit off of this story.

Summary: Penelope has a secret and Derek thinks he knows what it is…maybe he does maybe he doesn't .

Way not beta read! I am human, I make mistakes

Secrets of the Heart and Other Parts

Chapter Name: Not Enough

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><p>"Hello Kevin"<p>

Kevin Lynch didn't even stop what he was doing, " Hello Special Agent Morgan. What can I do for you today?"

"For starters you could try acting like a man for once and look at me."

"Tell you the truth, I thought you would be here a lot sooner" Kevin turned and look at Morgan. "I knew this was coming. So go head kick the shit out of me if you want, I wouldn't even report it. Because there is nothing you can do that I am not wishing that I could do to my self."

"What did you say to her?"

"That I will not tell you, because its between me and her. But what I did say, I mostly said because I was hurt. I tried to get her to love me but she didn't. I did everything I could, but I guess I was not good enough-"

"No you're not" Derek growled

"And you think you are?" Kevin shouted, jumping out of his chair, getting right in Morgan's face.

"You need to back up, kid" Derek snarled looking right into the punk's eyes.

"Or what? You going to punch, rough me up? Go ahead because after you are done with me, you might want to do the same thing to your self!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Morgan demanded

"Don't act like you don't know what I am talking, Agent.. Don't to pull that bullshit act with me"

"You need to watch your mouth son."

"God do I need to spell it out for you? She is in love with you"

Morgan stepped back and let out a deep breath, "Yea I know."

Kevin clamed down a bit and sat back down in his chair. "Then what the hell is your problem, man?"

"I don't know" Derek told him honestly .

"What is she not good enough for you? Not pretty enough? Not skinny-"

"Don't" Morgan interrupted him angrily. "Stop right there man. Don't even try going down the root with me."

"Then do something about it. This girl has been pining over you for the last four years."

Morgan just stood there, unsure how to answer. He wanted Penelope to be his, and only his but after that… Did he love her? _That's an easy one_, he smirked, _hell yes_. She is his world,… his sun… his moon… his everything.

"Agent Morgan, Penelope is very special, she is loved by a lot of people. But only a few are special enough to be loved by her. Don't take it for granted."

He didn't need for Kevin to tell him how special it was to have Penelope's love. But what he didn't understand why she never did anything about. Did she know how he felt about her? Didn't she see how much she meant to him? Didn't he show her a hundred ways how special she was to him?

"Look, I know you have bit of reputation, but Penelope is not one of those women. Don't you dare treat her like she is."

"I know that Kevin. Penelope is unlike any person I have ever met." he needed to talk to her. He needed to somehow let her know who she was to him. Why was it that he could sweet talk his way in to almost any woman's bed, but when it came to telling his goddess he loved her, he felt like a sixteen year old kid, trying to get laid for the first time? _Love_ he thought.

"Listen, I need to get back to work and it looks like you need to go talk to Pen."

"Yea you're right, I do need to talk to her." Derek said. As he reached the door, he stopped and turned back. "Kevin, just one more thing."

"Yea" Kevin turned door to look at Agent Morgan.

"Whatever you said to her, you made her doubt herself. You broke a piece of her, and it going to a hell of a lot of time for her to heal. That beautiful woman is broken right now because of you. I hope you can live with that because I know I couldn't." he then turned and left.

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><p>Sorry its so short and thanks for all the reviews.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own Criminal Minds, and I'm in no way making any profit off of this story.

Summary: Penelope has a secret and Derek thinks he knows what it is…maybe he does maybe he doesn't .

Way not beta read! I am human, I make mistakes

Secrets of the Heart and Other Parts

Chapter Name: My Time

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><p>Penelope lead against her apartment door and let out a deep breath, <em>Home Sweet Home<em>, she thought to herself. It had been one hell of a day. First her conversation with Derek, then Kevin calling and calling, trying to corner her every chance he got, plus the new case. And on top of all that, Derek tried to talk to her again before he had to go wheels up. Maybe he will call tonight, she hoped. All she wanted was a hot bath, and sleep, lots of sleep. But unfortunately all she had time for was the sleep. Just grab a few hours and then right back to the office, incase her team needed her. _But first alittle me time._

Grabbing her diary, she sat down on her couch and began to write.

_**Today, what a day. Kevin was acting weird , nothing new there. But still, its like hey dude, you made me cry, I'm really not in the mood to talk to you right now. Derek and I had a heart to heart. God what he does to me. He somewhat growled and I had to bite back a moan. He is just so damn sexy. With all those muscles and the tight shirts he wears. He is just so very lickable. But he was a heart too. I remember when he showed up at my door in the pouring rain. The team had just finish a real hard case that involved children, it had hit him pretty hard. He walked right in sat down in the middle of the couch. I sat down next to him and said his name. he didn't answer me, just looked right at me with tears in his eyes. He laid his head on my chest, right on top of my heart and said "Just hold me together, Penelope please, hold me together." I wrapped my arms around him and rest my cheek on top of his head. I rocked him alittle and whispered " I have you, you are alright and you are safe." over and over again. If he didn't alright ready have it, he would have stolen my heart right then and there._

_And that is the problem Derek has my heart and doesn't even know it. I am starting to think that Kevin was right. Morgan will only even see me as his best friend. And there is nothing I do about it. I just need… something. I need to do something but I don't know what. What am I lacking?_

_Confidence_

_That's what I am lacking . If I had more confidence, I could go what I really wanted. I would walk right up to him, right in the middle of the BAU, and tell him that he was coming over of to my place. I have everything ready, 100's of candles would be lit with soft music would be playing in the back round. I would have on my navy blue silk rode over my navy blue chemise with cream colored lace trim. I would look and feel sexy. I would answer the door, and there he would be, as beautiful as ever. I would kiss him, not one of those 'you're my best friend' kisses we shared once. But I would kiss with a hunger that would set us aflame, letting him know exactly what I wanted. I would lead him by the hand to my bedroom and then…_

_What?_

_What do I know about pleasing a man? Especially a man like Derek, who has been with plenty of women. Women that are sexy and knew what to do with a man. Not that I don't understand what sex is. I just don't know what to do, I've some heavy on top of the cloths petting but that's all. Hell even then I wasn't even sure if I was doing it right. I just want to please him if the time ever comes._

_Maybe I need to do what I should have done years ago 'you just have to knock it out a few times, then you will get the hang of it.' is what the girls back in high school use to say before I left. That's I should do, have sex a few times, get the hang of it and I would get some confidence, then go after what I really want. Would that make me a slut? No, I don't think so. I mean its just what some people do. Tons of people. What's the big deal if I do it.. Find some Radom guys have sex with them and that's it._

_God I do sound like a slut. But I am just so tired of being alone, of feeling empty and unloved. And if I have to have the opportunity to be with Derek that way, I want to know what I am doing. I don't even want him to regret being with me, I don't think my heart could take it. **_

Closing her book, Garcia got up and walked in to her bathroom. Just enough time for a quick shower then bed. As she finish undressing, she stopped and looked into her full length mirror. Looking over her body, she though why the hell not. _Get some_, she giggled, _confidence and get maybe just maybe I can get want I really want, one Derek Morgan. It's my time._

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><p>Thanks for the reviews<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own Criminal Minds, and I'm in no way making any profit off of this story.

Summary: Penelope has a secret and Derek thinks he knows what it is…maybe he does maybe he doesn't .

Way not beta read! I am human, I make mistakes

Secrets of the Heart and Other Parts

Chapter Name: Even the Damn Dog

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><p><em>2 weeks later<em>

_Something was up_, Derek thought to himself. Penelope was different, some how she was very different. And he just could put his finger on in. The way she moved, the way she talked, the air around her, it was all different

Derek wasn't sure if it was a good different or not.

His baby girl was changing.

Her smile was alittle more sassy, her laugh was alittle more sensual, even the sway of her hips was alittle more prominent. All of this was ok with him, what wasn't ok with him was that he was not the only one to notice. It seemed like very male in the freaken building noticed the changes in his blond goddess. _This is not ok._

_Case and point_ Morgan thought, sitting at his desk. He watched his love giggle and laugh with another agent. One Agent Ryan Simms. He was the one receiving the sassy smiles and the sensual laughs from his Penelope. He said something that made her give out one of those sensual laughs and lightly touched his arm with her hand. Derek felt heart clench. His chest tighten that the flirty little smile she gave Simms as walked away. _I cant take this._

The thing he knew was walking right into her office without knocking. She turned to him and gave him his smile. It was just like her old one, but alittle wider, alittle brighter, and her eyes sparked more. _How did I not notice that before?_

"Hello Agent Studdly, and what can I do for your fine self today?" she asked sweetly

_Oh I have a few ideas, and they all start with my head between your thighs._

"I tried calling you last night, you never called me back."

A slight blush formed on her cheeks, "I'm sorry. I was out late shopping, you know having some girl time. Got my manny and peddy. By the time I got home, it was so late I was afraid that I would wake you." she explained

"I was up til 3 in the morning working out, next time just call." he groaned

"I said I was sorry, Derek"

He closed his eyes and counted to five. "No, I am the one who should be apologizing, Baby girl. I don't know what's up with me the past few days, I just not sleeping very well." _Because I don't have you in my bed with me._

"It's ok, Hot Stuff, I understand." she said softly and he know that she really didn't. "How is my fluffy puppy, Clooney, doing?"

"Big and dumb as ever" he smiled

"He's not dumb, just very playful." she grinned.

The truth was that Clooney loved Penelope. Whenever she came over, he would do all his tricks without being told to, trying to show off. He bring her all his toys as gifts, lay at her feet and whimper when she left. _Even my damn dog loves this woman._

"He misses you."

She laughed, "No, he just misses the treats I bring him."

"Well come over Friday so you can bring him some, I'll even made you dinner and rent a movie, anything you want." he asked. _Please say yes_

"I'm sorry, Derek, I can't this weekend, I have plans."

There's that blush again, "Are you see someone?" he growled

"No Agent Morgan. I, Penelope Technical Analyst and Goddess of all knowledge, is not see anyone, so there is no need to growl at me" she teased him, trying to get him out of his bad mood.

"Then why can't you come for dinner?" His tone didn't improve.

"Derek, I just need sometime. With everything that has happened in the past few weeks, I just need sometime to build myself get up alittle. I need some PG time. But I promise, give me sometime and I will be better then I has before."

He knew that Kevin had hurt her, but is wasn't until now that he could see how much. _I should kicked that little shit's ass._ He knew that he needed time to find herself again, to rebuild her self esteem. "So what are you going to be doing? Shopping again?" he asked, his tone softer now that he understood.

"No I think I am done shopping for a bit. Speaking of which, do you like the new outfit?" she smiled and stood, doing a playful turn.

Morgan stood back and took in the site. His eyes narrowed, the bright red skirt was alittle shorter then she normal wear. Black corset like top with big red cherries all over it was cut alittle to lower for his liking, showing off her beautiful breasts to the world. _And every guy getting a free show._

"That top alittle sluttish, isn't?" he replied, and could have instantly to cut out his only tongue as she shoulder slumped and her eyes filled with hurt. He once again let his anger get the better of him and shot his mouth off with out thinking. _And I hurt her, that's the last thing I ever wanted to do_

"Penelope, I'm-"

There was a sudden knock at the door and Agent Hotch walked in, "Morgan, I need to see you in my office immediately."

"I'll be there in a second-"

"Now, Morgan" Hotch turned and left.

Morgan looked back at Garcia, she was now looking at her computers. "Baby-"

"Go Morgan" she interrupted

"Pen, please I'm-"

"Just go, Agent Morgan, please don't come down unless it has to do with a case and for that reason only." Her voice filled with pain. "Please just go Derek."

What else could he do, his boss need him and the love of his life was begging him to leave. To leave her in the pain that he himself had cause. As he left, he could hear her soft cries and had to fight back his own.

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><p>Thanks for all the reviews!<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own Criminal Minds, and I'm in no way making any profit off of this story.

Summary: Penelope has a secret and Derek thinks he knows what it is…maybe he does maybe he doesn't .

Way not beta read! I am human, I make mistakes

Secrets of the Heart and Other Parts

Chapter Name: Losing You

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><p><em>How the hell am I going to fix this?<em>

Derek Morgan had been sitting in his truck for the past half hour, banging his head against the steering wheel. _What have I done?_ He told the woman he loved that she looked like a slut. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ It never bothered him when his other lovers wear next to nothing, he had even found it sexy. But this was his woman, the love of his life. And she didn't even know it. He wanted to lock her away from the rest of the world.

_This train of thought isn't helping._

He needed to find a way to get Penelope to forgive him. Somehow he needed to get her to talk to him. She had avoided him all day, she also had banished him from her office. He hadn't been able to talk to her all day. And while Hotch had chewing him out over some paper work that he had rushed through, Pen had gone to JJ and told her the she was leaving for the day because she wasn't feeling well. He had upset her so much that she had fled the office, from him.

The sudden emotional and physical separation was to much to bare.

He needed her to talk to him. But if he called her there was no guarantee that she would pick up. And if he showed up at her door, there was no guarantee she would even open it. He needed to think of a way to get her not only open the door but to also let him in. But how?

Then he heard it.

His dog, Clooney, was barking, telling Derek he knew that his master was home. _Clooney._ He smiled. His secret weapon. Penelope had a real soft spot for the big goof. He was going to have to use that spot against her this one time, and hopefully never screw up this badly to have to use it again.

Morgan got out of his truck and walked in to his home, his dog barking hello. "Hey, boy. Are you ready to help me out? I screwed up really bad with Penelope and I need you to get me in her door to see her." He explained, bending down to patted Clooney on the head, "And you are going to get her to forgive me. Aren't you, good boy, because you're my secret weapon. Come on boy, want to go for a ride in the truck and see Penny?" he said grabbing Clooney's leash and opening the front open. The dog took off like a bolt to the truck, barking and jumping waiting for Derek to get there.

"That's a good boy, up" Clooney jumped right in to the trunk and sat down on the passenger side. "We need to make one stop before we go see Penny to try and help me get out of the dog house."

Garcia was getting out of a warm bubble bath when she heard the strangest sound coming from her front room. Quickly throwing on some pajama bottoms and rode, she when to the front door and waited. There is was again, a scratching and whining sound. But when she looked through the peep hole, she saw nothing. She opened the door to find Derek Morgan's dog, Clooney sitting there.

"Clooney? How did you get here?" she asked smiling, bending down to rub the dog's head. But the only answer she reserved was a lick on the cheek. "Eww, you goofball" she laughed.

"Well at least he got you to smile."

Looking up, she saw Derek, beautiful as ever, coming out of his hiding spot holding a bouquet of wild flowers. She stood and moved to let the dog in to her apartment. Clooney busied himself by sniffing everything he could find, while Pen just stared at Derek.

Morgan stood there nervously, she didn't look pleased to see him. It was the first time she ever looked at him like that. "So my dog is invited in, but I'm not?" he asked nicely, trying to gauge her mood.

Her face and tone lacking any emotion, she said "I'm not anger at him."

"Penny, please can we just go inside and talk about this?"

She stood there unmoving. She knew if she let him in, she would end up forgiving him. All he had to do was look at her with those gorgeous eyes and give her the hurt puppy look, she could forgive him of anything. And if he tried hard enough, he could get her to apologize to him for being angry

_Stay strong, he is in the wrong, not you._

"Fine, come in. But the moment you make me mad, I'm kicking your butt out." She told him, turned and walked in her apartment.

He followed her inside and closed the door. He watched as she moved around her place, getting Clooney a treat from his special jar. Derek had usually brought the dog with him for movie night. Penny bought the paw printed jar and filled it with homemade treats, saying she wanted Clooney to feel included with their funny. _How can I not love this woman._

"Penelope, I am truly sorry for the things I said this afternoon." When she did respond, he moving closer to her. "I got this for there for you." He said hold the flowers tout to her.

Like a small volcano erupting, Penelope lost her temper. "You think you can just buy me some flower and I will just forgive you and act all happy and smiley." She walked right up to him. "You get to run around with every short skirt within a 10 mile radius, and you call me a slut. What does that make you?" she yelled angrily and poked him in the chest.

"I didn't call you a slut, I would never do that. Don't put words in my mouth." He yelled back.

"Oh I am so sorry, you didn't call me a slut. You said I looked like a slut." She pointed out.

Derek closed his eyes for a second trying to calm his anger. _Calm down, don't say something stupid again_. "Pen what I meant was-"

"Oh god" she said as she turned away from him. "I don't think I could stand to know what you really meant. What? I'm too much of a fatty-"

"Stop right there" he grabbed her, turning her to look at him. "Never use that word about yourself again, understand me!"

See fiery in his eye, all she could do was nod.

He let her go and stepped back. "What I said, I said because I was angry. In the past two weeks you have changed so much. And it's s scaring me. Its like I am losing you. I'm losing my best friend and it scares me."

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><p>Thanks for all the reviews<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own Criminal Minds, and I'm in no way making any profit off of this story.

Summary: Penelope has a secret and Derek thinks he knows what it is…maybe he does maybe he doesn't .

Way not beta read! I am human, I make mistakes

Secrets of the Heart and Other Parts

Chapter Name: Over Looked

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><p>"Oh Derek, you are not going to lose me." She told him, placing her hands on his chest. His heart was pounding and the look on his face showed he was truly afraid.<p>

"It sure as hell feels like that to me."

"Honeybunch, I am just needing some change in my life."

"Why?" he asked pulling her closer to him. "Why do you need to change? There is nothing wrong with the way you are."

Looking at his chest rather then have to look into his eyes, she said " I know you think you know me, Derek, but there are some things you don't know."

"Mama?" he tipped her chin so she would look at him. "What things?"

When she didn't answer, he moved to rest his forehead against her. "Are you keeping secrets from me?"

"If I told you, then they wouldn't be secrets, would they." She chuckled, acting like it would no big deal.

"Tell me." He pleaded

She pulled away saying, "I can't"

"Baby girl?" He watched as she moved away from him. "What is it?"

She moved around her home, moving pillows, patting Clooney on his head, doing anything she could to keep from having to look at Derek._ I can't tell him, he'll just laugh. Change the subject_

"So when is the last time Clooney went out because if he goes on my rug, you are so cleaning it up."

"That's not going to work Baby." He said firmly, sitting down on her couch. What is she hiding? Then it dawned on him. _But I can't say anything because then she will know that I read her dairy . What the hell am I going to do?_ "Mama, stop fussing around and sit with me."

She sat down next to him, and started to pick at her nails. Derek watched her, she was filled with anxiety and dread. Taking her hands in his, "Penelope, stop you are going to hurt yourself. Tell me what is going on. You are starting to scare me"

"I can't, Morgan, please just understand that I can't talk about this." She begged him.

Anger shot through him, "You know what? I don't understand and I won't. You told me I could trust you. That you would never lie to me or hold back. You had me believing that I could tell you anything and that you would never judge me. I though that we were connected. But now, hell its like I don't even know you. You are running around, dressing up all sexy, flirting with guys. You are never around on your off time. What is happening?"

"Derek, you can trust me. I have never lied to you and I would not judge you. And I never will. This is about me, Derek, just me."

"You are hiding things from me. How can I trust you if you are hiding parts of your life from me?"

Penelope closed her eyes, it was like they were both talking in code and the other didn't understand it. "You are not understanding me. This isn't about you and me. This is about me."

"You are using that word a lot. Me. Who are you, what did you do with my Penelope? I want her back."

"Ok that enough. Just because I changed alittle bit I'm no long your friend? Is that how this is going to work? I'm no longer here at your beck and call, and you got pissed? You basically throw your self at any woman near you, but I flirt with one guy, you freak, and try to make me feel bad? That's not what friends do Derek. I don't think you know what friendship is, and I am tired of trying to explain it to you. You have bullied me enough." She jump off the couch and moved away from him. "So ok maybe I am being a little flirty and dressing alittle sexy. So what? I have been over weight nerd girl for so long. I have been over looked time and time again. And now I want something different. I am going to anything I have to get it."

Morgan stared at her, dumb founded. Is that really how she saw their friendship? That he was a bully?

Pen took a breath, "Look, I think you should leave. We both have said a lot tonight and I think we both need time to think it all over. "

Seeing no other choice, Morgan walked to the front door, Clooney tailing him. He put his hand on the knob and stopped. He turned back, looked her and whispered. "I always saw you." Then left.

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><p>Thanks for all the reviews.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own Criminal Minds, and I'm in no way making any profit off of this story.

Summary: Penelope has a secret and Derek thinks he knows what it is…maybe he does maybe he doesn't .

Way not beta read! I am human, I make mistakes

Secrets of the Heart and Other Parts

Chapter Name: Follow that Blond

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><p><em>Stalking<em>

_This is stalking. You're becoming a stalker. You are outside, in the dark, watching her. Definitely a stalker_

Derek sat in his truck outside of Penny's apartment, waiting. For what? He had no idea. But she was hiding something from him. And he didn't believe it was about her being a virgin. It was something else. He could feel it in his gut. The way she kept saying that she needed to change. What could she need to change?

_Crazy ass woman._

It was like there were hidden meanings under everything she said. It was obvious that she wanted him, she had written it in her dairy. She wanted him to be her first, but instead of moving closer to him, she was pushing him away. He wanted her, knowing he would be her first made all his primal male instincts going in to super overdrive. He was going to be her first, _her only._

_She's pushing me away and I am letting her_. That stopped him. _I'm letting her. She is pushing me away and I letting her. The love of my life is pushing me out of her life and I sitting here in my truck doing nothing about it. Well fuck that._

He started to get out of this truck, when he saw a taxi pull up in front of her building. He waited to see who it was for. Garcia did tell JJ that she was going out tonight, so she couldn't go out with us to have our Friday outing. Then he saw her, wearing the sexiest outfit he had even seen her in. Penelope's hair was up in curly ponytails, the tight leopard corset propped up her creamy pale breasts for the world to see, the lacey black skirt was so short that it barely covered her lovely round ass. Fishnets and leopard print 4 inch heels topped off the outfit.

_Where the hell is she going dressed like that?_

To stunned by her beauty, he could only watch as she got into her taxi and drive away. Shacking his head he thought, Oh no Baby girl, you are not getting away from me that easily. He ran back to his truck as fast as he could and started the engine. He follow the taxi on to the highway, traffic was a alittle heavy for time on a Friday night. Suddenly the cab took a quick lane change to make an exist. _Fuck!_ He couldn't make it over in time and lost her. _Fuck fuck fuck!_ He thought slamming his fist against the steeling wheel. Quickly going through his mental maps, he would have to take the next exist and back track.

Taking the next exist, he found his way back to where the taxi would existed. There was nothing around here that she would need to take a cab too, a few fast food places, tattoo shop and a gas station. He pulled in the station see a taxi there gassing up.

Getting out of his truck, he walked up the cab driver seeing it was the driver that had taking Penelope away, "Excuse me, Sir."

The cabbie turn and looked at him, "Yea?"

Morgan pulled out his identification, "FBI, I need to know where you dropped off the blond woman who has just in your cab."

"Is everything ok? She seemed like a real sweet girl, maybe a little tipsy but still real sweet."

"Sir, I need to know where she is." _Tipsy? She was drinking and then going out? that's not like her._

"Oh well I dropped her off that some club."

"Where?"

"Umm, you make a right out of here, then go down for a bit, you will see parking lot on your right. You go all the way to the back of it and you will see a gate, go there the gate and there you are."

"And what is this place called?"

"No idea, there was not name on the building."

His stomach sank, _this can't be good_. "Thank you for your time." He turned to walk away.

"Hey," the cabbie called "is she ok? I mean she alittle worried and nervous but really nice, chatty."

"She is going to be fine, sir. I just need to get her home."

With that Derek turned and when back to his trunk. He followed the driver's directions, and found the building. Many cars were parked inside the gate. He saw a couple looking up to the building and pursued after them. Walking up a flight of stairs, he entered what looked like an office. The couple was talking to a woman sitting behind a desk. The woman smiled at them and hit a button. He heard a buzzed and noticed a large set of doors open. There was loud music, colored lights and smoke coming of the other side.

"Can I help you, Sir?" the woman called to him.

_Keep your cool, don't go flashing your badge there will be to many questions_

Smiling, he walked up to her, "Yea, I want in on the party." He said sweetly

"Are you here as a guest or are you a member?"

That question throw him. _What the hell is this place?_ "Guest, please."

"Single male," she said as her typed in to her computer. "as a guest, that will be 150 dollars."

"To get in to a club?" that blow his mind.

"Yes, sir, now will that be cash or credit?"

"Cash" he said, reaching for his wallet

Taking the cash from him she said, " Can I be honest with you? You look alittle nervous, if I were you, I would go right to the bar, and chill out. No one here is going to bite you, well no unless you want them too." She grinned at him.

"Thanks, maybe you are right." He thanked her. _Garcia, what have you gotten yourself into? And what am I going to find behind these door?_

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><p>Thanks for all the reviews!<p> 


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